A Word about the Principles of Positive Parenting

 

Today I want to share a word about how to reach our potential in Christ by following the principles positive parenting as I comment on Psalm 127. This passage reads:

 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 

Parenting is the toughest job in the world. I once saw a t-shirt on a Navy base that said, “Navy Wife-Toughest Job in the Navy.”  Navy wives have to be solo parents for much of the time and that just makes the task of parenting that much harder. Like every other aspect of our lives, the Bible provides us valuable wisdom about positive parenting, and today we can see a portion of that wisdom in Psalm 127.

First, in Psalm 127, we see that we must be authentic.

The rise of e-commerce has allowed our economy to be flooded with fake or imitation goods. A sign that an item listed on-line may be fake or imitation is the word “type” in the description. For example, an “air force-type” survival knife indicates that it is, without a doubt, a cheap imitation or knock-off of the real thing.

Imitation goods are often great bargains, but they are also often not worth what you pay for them. The are not made of the same materials as the original, they don’t work the way the original does, and they cheat the purchaser of their hard-earned money.

God our Father is the real thing. When He creates something, it is the genuine article, and it works just like it is supposed to work. And, like God, parents need to be authentic also. 

Children are very perceptive. They know when a person is being genuine or not. They will see right through a phony attitude or deceptive language. When we model ourselves on God our Father and when we are the real thing to our children the way He is the Real Thing to us, it makes the task of parenting much easier.

Next, we see in Psalm 127 that we must be attentive.

Children are compared to arrows, which are weapons, and weapons need attention. Arrow heads need sharpening, and their shafts need fletching with feathers. Bows need restringing, and guns need cleaning and oiling. Weapons that don’t get attention don’t work. Guns fail to fire, and arrows fly errantly. Both may hit the wrong target, and ill-treated guns can even explode.

Our children also need our attention. We must spend time with them so we can play with them and teach them and lead them to the Lord. It has been said that the way to spell love with a child is T I M E or “time.” “Quality” time is good, but we also must realize that “quantity” has a quality all its own.

Third, we see in Psalm 127 that we must be affirmative.

Being negative as a parent is easy because our children do many things that we must say “don’t” about. Children must be corrected. God, Himself corrects us, as Hebrews 12:6 tells us, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Proverbs 13:24 also reminds us that “to spare the rod is to spoil the child.”

That being said, our discipline should not be harsh. A teacher asked the children in her class what they wanted to be when they grew up. One little boy said, “I want to be possible.” His teacher was confused and asked him what he meant by that. He said, “My parents always say that I’m impossible, so I want to grow up to be possible!”

In truth, with only a little effort, we can be positive with our children. We can brag on our children for their good qualities and their good behavior, not only in front of others, but also in front of them. In addition, we should reward them for doing good in the same measure, if not more, as we punish them for being bad. Some school systems call this, “catch them being good,” and it is a great way to reward positive behavior.

Finally, we see in Psalm 127 that we need to be affectionate.

Warmth is better than being cold. Who finds a cold cup of coffee appealing? Who finds a cold bowl of stew appetizing? Who finds a cold shoulder assuring? Hear the warmth in Psalm 127: “the heritage of the Lord,” “the fruit of the womb is a reward,” “blessed is the man,” and “a full quiver.”

We need to be warm and affectionate with our children. We need to love them, laugh with them, hug them, and spend time with them. We need to treat them as the special blessings of God that they are.

In conclusion, we don’t have to be perfect parents. 

We can’t be perfect parents or be perfect in any other way. We do have a perfect Father, however, who has sent us His perfect Word, and also His Holy Spirit to teach it to us and empower us to live by it. 

None of us are perfectly authentic and attentive and affirmative and affectionate, but we know Someone who is. He is also eager to help us, if we would only let Him. Will you let Him help you apply these principles of positive parenting?

Thanks so much for visiting with me today! I'll be back soon with another word from the Bible can share together.

Every blessing,

Dr. Otis Corbitt