So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
The most common adult relationship is marriage. In truth, is it often the most difficult one also. Many marriages fail, and while most first marriages last, the odds of a marriage failing increases as the number of marriages one enters into increases. “Third time’s a charm” is not true for weddings!
While some people despair about marriages, the Scriptures tell us how to have effective and fulfilling marriages. Our focal passage reveals some Biblical principles for happy marriages.
The First Principle is Association.
God recognized that that is not good for people to be alone. People are made for companionship and fellowship. We certainly need a relationship with God, but we also need human interaction as well. Some people can thrive as hermits, but very few can live and serve God happily in isolation.
To meet this need for association, God put Adam and Eve together. He did this so that they could:
- Be together
- Share life with each other
- Love each other
- Encourage each other
Rodney Dangerfield once joked, “My wife and I sleep in separate rooms, we eat separately, and we take separate vacations. We’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” The truth is that being apart from one another on a regular basis marriage is not healthy. Absence is said to make the heart grow fonder, and it does, until it makes the heart grow numb.
The Second Principle is Affirmation.
In marriage it is easy to take one another for granted. Life, over time, becomes routine, and over time, marriages can become routine also. Our appreciation for each other becomes numb and dim, and too often, as the saying goes, “Familiarity breeds contempt.”
It is easy to be critical; being negative comes easily to us. It takes little effort to be critical. Instead, we should learn to be positive. Look at what Adam said, “Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!” In other words, he proclaimed, “Lord, did you get it right or what?!”
In our marital relationships we should cultivate a positive attitude towards our mate. They must have many good points, otherwise we would not have married them!
A practical suggestion about this would be to make a list of your spouse’s positive aspects, and mention them, casually of course, in a conversation from time to time. Also, make it a practice to praise your spouse whenever they deserve it . . . and better yet, when they don’t!
The Third Principle is Allegiance.
Our spouses must see that they are a priority for us: God is first, our spouse is only second to him, and the remainder of our relationships can fall into line after them. This is a good place to note that while our families of origin are important, marriage requires that we must leave them behind. Your wife or husband must take priority over the family that raised you.
This can be hard, and it does not imply that we should disrespect those that nurtured us and who mentored us into adulthood. That being said, we must let go of them and they must let go of us. Not only is this socially and psychologically sound, but it is also a commandment of God as we see in Genesis 2.
Setting priorities is easy but managing them can be difficult. As important as associating together as husband and wife is, it is a fact that most people can’t be physically with each other all the time. Simply making a living and other demands of life in the 21st Century intervene and require our attention. This is certainly true when we have children. Still, there must never be any doubt how important you spouse is to you!
The Final Principle Here is Affection.
Everyone needs love. We need to receive it and we need to give it. We need to feel a loving touch and we need to give a loving touch.
An insurance company in Germany reported some amazing results from a survey of their customers. They found that husbands who kissed their wives daily as they left for work lives 5 years longer than the average man. They also made 25% more money, had fewer accidents, and lost half as much time to illness.
We need to show our spouse affection. We need to give them hugs and kisses, and we need to hold their hands. And, we need to allow them to show us affection as well.
Conclusion.
God’s Word is lamp to our feet and a light to our path and it is the best source of wisdom for our everyday lives. Today we have seen some Biblical principles for happy marriages. All that remains is for us, as empowered by the Holy Spirit, to implement these principles in our lives. They worked for the first man and woman, and they will work for men and women in the 21st Century as well!
Every blessing,
Dr. Otis Corbitt
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.