A Word about Forgiveness

Today I want to share a word about forgiveness, as I comment on Genesis 50:15-25. This passage reads:

And when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him. And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants. And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.  And Joseph dwelt in Egypt, he, and his father's house: and Joseph lived an hundred and ten years. And Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph's knees. And Joseph said unto his brethren, I die: and God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. And Joseph took an oath of the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you, and ye shall carry up my bones from hence.

A preacher was trying to patch-up a difference between two friends.  “You must not cherish enmity with your neighbor,” he told one who was griping to him about the other. “If your friend does you harm, you must forget it.”  “My problem,” said the man, “is that I have a very bad memory.”  “And what does that have to do with it?” replied the minister.  “Well, I keep for getting that I forgot it!” 

We've all heard the saying "forgive and forget." We've all also heard people say: "I can forgive, but I can't forget."  I really think that means that they haven’t forgiven, either.

For many it is impossible to forgive and forget, for emotionally, they are unable to completely disown the hurt. I think we need to question that concept, and a good model for us to examine is the story of Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers.  Let's look at his way of dealing with this in our text for today.

JOSEPH HAD BEEN HURT:

I am sure we all remember the story: Joseph had told by God in a dream of his leadership role and his father Jacob, doted on him. Jacob gave Joseph a special coat of many colors. All of this meant that his brothers were jealous, and they wanted to kill him. One brother balked at murder, but still, he was sold into slavery into a foreign country, Egypt.

I'm sure we all have similar stories: Friends have betrayed us. Bosses have fired us. Co-workers have conspired against us. Family members have turned against us. Bitter experience has proved the saying to be true, "You always hurt the ones you love!"

Such experiences are devastating! They are also disorienting! We often have great trouble recovering from them. God will help us, just as He did for Joseph; in the end, he turned out fine but that doesn’t mean it was easy. His story reminds me of a pet cat who always landed on his feet, except for the time that he climbed into the clothes dryer when my wife’s back was turned. He went round and round only for a few seconds, but when my wife rescued him, he couldn’t even stand-up! He was not harmed, but he was severely disoriented!

JOSEPH DID NOT FORGET THE HURT: 

The human mind rarely forgets being hurt. We remember painful events, if not the pain itself. This is beneficial, because it helps us to avoid future pain. For example, "Don't touch the stove!" 

On the other hand, hurtful memories can cause us trouble, such as in post-traumatic stress issues. As a mild example of that, I hated to hear a telephone ring for years after I left a position in which a phone call always brought bad news or trouble. Truth be told, I would still rather do business face-to-face rather than by telephone!

We remember hurts and so we ask "Why?" “Why did that happen to me?” is probably the most common question asked by hurting people. This is often a hard question to answer, but there is an answer! Sometimes the answer involves admitting our own mistakes. Sometimes we are innocent, however, and Joseph was innocent!

Joseph was able to explain why he was hurt, but not through his own wisdom. Instead, God explained why Joseph was hurt.  My paraphrase would be, "You meant it for evil, but God used it for good." We may not know why on this side of heaven, but we will know some day.

JOSEPH FORGAVE THE HURT ANYWAY:

Forgiveness, like love, is misunderstood. Love is not emotion; it is action, or intention. Forgiveness is likewise not an emotion, but it is a decision of our will. We may not feel like changing a baby’s diaper, doing the dishes, or taking out the trash, but we must and do!

Joseph decided to forgive his brothers because he knew God. God did well for him, and he could trust God. He also forgave because he knew himself; he wasn't God, and he wasn't perfect. He also forgave because he knew his brothers. Like him they were poor, frail, jealous humans.

What other options did Joseph have? Well, he could have used the power of his office to get revenge. He could have thrown them out of Egypt. He could have just ignored them. Instead, he comforted them, and spoke kindly to them. He also vowed to care for them and their offspring. And not only did he vow, but he also did so: 

And Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph's knees.

WHAT ABOUT US?

Have we decided to forgive our offenders? Joseph is our model, and he was sold into captivity by his brothers. Surely, we have never had such happen to us.

Joseph showed us it is possible to forgive, without forgetting. Are we willing to follow his lead?

Every blessing,

Dr. Otis Corbitt